I can never go to my hairstylist again. That won’t be that much different from now considering how infrequently I get my haircut. But I like my hairstylist! She does exactly what I want, and she does it fast!
Yesterday, I made the bi-annual trip to get my hairs trimmed. My appointment was early because I needed to take care of some errands. (Which I totally kicked in the nuts that afternoon, thank you very much.) Apparently 9:30 is the equivalent of dawn in the hair styling world. There was no one else in the entire salon except for me and the stylist. This place is normally overflowing with gossip, hairspray, and attitude. Yesterday it was empty chairs, the sound of my footsteps echoing, and rows of mirrors all reflecting my face!
So how do we fill the silence? Naturally, my hairstylist, being the friendly lady that she is, strikes up a conversation with me!
“How are the kiddies?” she inquires.
“Good.” Oh my God! Why did I say good? I don’t have kids!
“Now they’re still little, right?” she continues.
“Yes.” Crap! Why did I say that? Why didn’t I say, “Haha! Just kidding! I don’t have kids!”???
This totally ruined the zen portion of the haircut: the shampoo. I like to close my eyes and go to my happy place while my head is being massaged and sudsed-up. Instead, I was frantically thinking about (a) how do I stop the lies? and (b) what are my fictional children’s names? If I use the names I really want to use for my children someday, will pretending that these children already exist put me into a karmic spin that results in a childless future?
Thankfully, the hairstylist was picking up on my less-than chatty vibes and kept quiet for the most part. Eventually she started talking about her car, so I took that gem and ran with it. “What kind of car do you have? Do you like it? I just sold my car. Cars! Cars! Cars!”
I let out quite the sigh of relief as I exited the shop. Surely my stylist got me confused with someone else. Or she has no idea who I am. This is entirely possible when you take into account that the last time she saw me was April. The time before that was back in October.
Can I return to the hair salon? Can I just casually say, “Oh, I don’t have kids,” if it comes up again (6 months from now)? (I know that yes, it’s possible to do that. What I want to know is am I capable of doing that?) Do you like your hairstylist? How often do you get your hairs cut? Ever told a lie to a stranger?*