Post-Wax

Last week I told y’all that I was taking the (scary) plunge and getting a Brazilian wax. Well, this weekend I did it, and I lived to tell the tale!

I arrived at the European Wax Center a sweaty ball of nerves. As planned, I took some Tylenol before the visit. I also started chomping on some gum, tweeting more than usual, and had other people not been around I would have been pacing. I tried to play it cool when I was in the waiting room, but as my aesthetician Brittani escorted me to the wax room, my cool facade (if I ever really had one) was gone.

The room was tiny, and looked similar to a massage room, but the lights were way up (not dim like when you get a massage). There was a table with paper running the length of it (similar to the OBGYN) and a counter with the waxing supplies. “So you want a full leg and a Brazilian. Is that right?” Brittani asked me ever so politely.

The room looked exactly like this! Source.

“Well…” cue increased sweating, “I want a Brazilian, but this is my first time, so I don’t know if I can handle it.” Brittani assured me that I could handle it. She offered to remove the hair a little from the left and then a little from the right repeatedly so that if the pain ever got to be too much, we could call it quits and my down-there coif would still be symmetrical. Next up, I had to take off ma’ pants and underpants. They don’t play at the Wax Center; they just get down to business. I was a little hesitant, but then I figured, Brit’s getting a full show, no reason to be shy now.

I climbed up on the table and immediately began to stare at the ceiling. Wouldn’t it be nice if they put up a drape like they do for c-sections? I thought we might start with the leg wax, but Brazilian was first. I’m really glad that she did that first so I could get it out of the way.

I was asked to put the bottoms of my feet together ala the butterfly stretch.While Brittani went to work applying the wax and pulling it off, we made polite conversation. We talked about Stephen, my upcoming Australian vacation, her son and baby daddy, her career goals, where we were both from, the town we live in. Seriously, it’s like we were just having a chit-chat sesh, but she was working on my privates the whole time.

The position is like this, but laying on your back and not wearing pants.

I gotta tell you: it was not as bad as I thought, at all! I wouldn’t even say that it stung. No, it didn’t feel good, but it was a quick tug and done. Getting threaded (which is what I get done to my eyebrows when I take the time to actually get my eyebrows done) is way more painful. That involves eyes watering and whimpering. None of that at this appointment.

At one point she asked if I wanted to stop, and I was like “Heck, no!” If I’d already done most of it, go ahead and finish it off. Take all the hair! The last part of the Brazilian is the behind part. I had to put my hands behind my knees and lift my feet up into the air. I was worried that I might spasm and accidently kick Brittani. She assured me that that has never happened. That part was probably the easiest of all. No pain there.

Some cream or lotion or something or other was applied to me and then I got to put my underpants back on. I felt much more comfortable the remainder of the appointment knowing that (a) the scary part was over and (b) I wasn’t completely naked and (c) I had nothing to hide! I’d already shown it all anyway!

For the leg wax, I just laid normally with my legs straight down. After she had gotten the fronts of my legs, I had to turn over onto my tummy. I honestly thought some of the leg work hurt more than the Brazilian. (I don’t like getting my shins waxed. That’s a sensitive spot.) In less than 30 minutes total, I was done and back in my clothes.

Brittani told me that every visit after this one will hurt even less. She even said that the second time is half as painful. (I can totally handle half as painful! That’d be not painful at all!) They recommend that you go regularly as it thins out your hair and makes it less painful and more effective every visit. I don’t know if I’ll go every month like they say, but I’m so glad that it was smooth sailing! A visit well worth the money and nowhere near as bad as all the hype!

Any fellow waxers feeling triumphant today? No? Just me? Any waxing horror stories? (I got a bikini wax prior to my wedding, and the aesthetician referred to my bush post-wax as “natural looking.” So not what I was going for!)*