As hard as it is to believe, I’ve been living in Germany for 60 days! This month went by really fast. Probably in part because I was a busy, busy bee. This month alone…
- We went to Salzburg and Berchtesgaden.
- We took the long trip home and back for my big brother’s wedding.
- Stephen spent one crazy day in Munich for Oktoberfest. (I spent that entire day at home worrying about him!)
- We went to Prague.
- Our stuff finally arrived!
- Everything got unpacked and we celebrated with a pasta party.
Our busy schedule helped this month fly by and helped me to stay upbeat. Last month was characterized by homesickness, but this month was characterized by contentment. Most of the things that had me feeling down (no one to run with, no friends yet, adjusting to living on post) are all still true, but I’ve come to accept and appreciate where I am. I’m not exactly sure what it is that changed, but I’ve just felt mostly happy this entire month.
Things I’m still adjusting to…
Living with my husband. I know, this shouldn’t be hard. We’ve known each other for 11 years. How much different could our relationship be after spending just 1 year apart? Well, different!
This is what afternoons look like at our house.
We both changed so much, and our lives are so different now from when we lived together before. I keep telling myself that it just takes time. Thankfully, we seem to finally be falling into a regular rhythm. (I think it helps that our stuff is here, too.) I predict that this will just get better and better, but I want to be honest: life after deployment is not the same as it was before. My relationship with my husband is different now. But, as the very wise Janelle pointed out, different doesn’t mean worse.
Living in a small town. This has been tougher for me than living in a different country. When we go to the PX (the store on post), there is a 75% chance that we’ll see at least one person we know. And I don’t even know that many people! I use to live in a huge apartment complex where I knew no one. I could go about my business and no one would recognize me. I could go to the store looking disheveled and I was surrounded by strangers, so it was okay! Here, people see what you do. Add in the fact that restaurants close by 8 pm, I no longer have access to 10 fast food restaurants within walking distance, and the nearest Chili’s is 4 hours away, and you can see that small town living is hard!
Having no job. I’ve said it before, the job market here is tough. (I went to a resume class and realized that I was doing everything wrong! Apparently applying for federal jobs means you pretty much do the opposite of what you’d normally do on a resume. Good to know.)
My notes from the resume class.
Part of me is okay with having no job. I am managing to stay plenty busy and no job means I get more time with my husband. I do worry that this empty space on my resume will hinder me from getting a job down the road. I also think that having a job would help me meet other people and make friends. Ideally, I’d like to work, but there is only so much I can do. As of right now, I’m adjusting (slowly) to not having a job.
There you have it. Month two was far superior to one month one. And if I play my cards right, month three might be even better!*
I’m glad you’re feeling content with your move. I know it’s hard. Like, really, really hard, but it always works out. And yes, I’m telling myself this as the movers are due here in 90 minutes and I’m in full-on panic mode. As far as life (marriage) after deployment….yes, it’s very different. Different isn’t necessarily worse, but it is different, and that takes adjustment. And grace. And acceptance. Yeah. It’s hard.
I’m happily unemployed, but I, too, worry that one day no one will hire me because I’ve done nothing but raise a kid, bake and go to the gym for the last 11 years. I hope you find whatever makes you happy!!
At least you can blame not working on your kiddo! “Stay at home mom” sounds way more credible than “housewife.” Who knows, maybe I’ll make the housewife thing permanent, then I won’t ever have to worry about my resume or silly things like applying for jobs! Sounds a lot less stressful!*
I grew up in a small town and am used to going out and seeing people I know. You’ll either get really good at being friendly or really good at pretending not to see them! The weird part was that when I moved away from that small town, I’d go out and think I saw people I knew from home. Do you ever see someone in Germany and wonder if it’s someone from TX (or anywhere else from your past)?
As far as getting a job down the road after being “unemployed,” I think you can always work in certain skills that are used both at home and in a job atmosphere. For example: time management. That’s something you do every day. You could (hopefully) just highlight skills like that which you have “fine-tuned” while being jobless. Dudesy, it’s all about how you word it
Marriage should have taught you that! haha 
Two more things: 1) Thank you for the shout-out and 2) YOU ARE SUCH A TEASE! What does your last sentence meeeeeeeeeean?!?!? I feel like you have something up your tricky little argyle-sweatered sleeve
I used to pull them “pretend you don’t see the person” when I’d run into my students out in public. (Usually I’d say hi, but if I was a hot mess, I would avoid eye contact like no other!) Kids are a lot easier to dupe than grown-ups. After I wrote this post yesterday, we went to the commissary and ran into 4 different people that we know! It made shopping for groceries take forever! Stephen is a lot more positive than I am though; he said that he thinks it’s nice to see people you know all over town. I need to adopt that attitude.
Sadly, I have no special plans for the next month. (Although, now I’m tempted to plan something majorly awesome!) I’m just trying to hope for the best!*
Yes, make November your b!tch!!
I’m glad you’re starting to get adjusted. Life after deployment is hard but toss in a completely new country/way of living? Thats super difficult! You’re doing really well and I’m sure its only going to get easier.
Keep up the travels! I’m living vicariously through you
any chance you guys are going to use Ryan air to go to Italy or Spain???
We have heard a lot about Ryan Air. Sounds like the prices cannot be beat. The number one must see place for us is France. (We want to see the D-day beaches.) We might be using Ryan Air to get over in that direction. Seems faster and more economical than driving or even taking the train.*
I’m glad you’re settling in! I can’t imagine what a huge transition it’s been for you.
Even if you do end up with a gap on your resume, you’ve got a good explanation IMHO!
Well, I think that the reason for the resume gap is good, I just hope future employers see it that way. If “time with family after a deployment” isn’t a good reason, I just don’t know what is!*
I’m glad Germany keeps getting better and better! One of my best friends is a Marine wife, and she is also having a REALLY difficult time finding a job on post. They actually live here in the U.S., and she’s been looking for over a year. Hopefully that resume class helps!!
The resume class was eye-opening. For federal jobs you aren’t supposed to use bullet points, it should be really long and incredibly descriptive (they want hard numbers and statistics), and you include the contact information for your supervisors on the resume. Crazy! Like I said, the opposite of a regular resume.
And…I heard some good job-related news about you recently! Congratulations!*
Congrats on being there two months! And I’m glad that you are honest about how hard it is to live together again – people think it’s easy to just live with someone you love but it’s not always that easy.
And good luck job hunting – but try not to stress too much about it and enjoy being in Germany. Someday you may look back and realize that this time without a job was one of the best times in your life!
I think the cultural narrative around deployments has a lot of misinformation. People watch reunions on tv with tears in their eyes and assume that it’s happily ever after. And it’s so not.
When we moved in together originally (way back in ’06) it was pretty easy. This time around it is a totally different experience. It makes me understand the adjustment issues that many couples face when they first move in together! It takes a lot of patience and trial and error.*
What kind of job are you looking for? Have you thought about advanced English classes with a language school or something? Maybe that’s an option, I mean you’re a teacher, and when I was taking English classes in Britain, no one had a choice but to speak English, so lacking knowledge of German shouldn’t be a problem, right?
I have thought about teaching English, but it’s something I haven’t really explored. I assumed that since we have one car, it would be too tricky to work off post, but if I’m really honest, that’s just an excuse for me being lazy.*
I’m glad things are getting better, I can’t believe it has been two months already. Hopefully month three is even better!
I can’t believe it either! This month really flew by!*
I had the same reservations about the 5 month hole in my resume before I got my running store job in GA — and then realized that that job wasn’t really even in my field. But honestly, you are living in Germany right now and doing the best you can. I wouldn’t worry so much about the gap and use it to your advantage. Tell them you were learning about the German culture (which could be a benefit somewhere later on), and with the military they will understand. I have faith that everything will work out. And I’m in the same boat — it’s weird to not work when you have always worked. Though I’m kind of starting to get used to it.
But I will just enjoy this short time in my life as I know this is only a temporary thing.
Glad it’s getting better for you! Hope month 3 is good to you as well…..that whole job thing is tough! And of course you do everything opposite with a resume! We know it’ll all workout the way that it’s suppose to be for you! At least the first couple months you were able to adjust at your own speed that might have been even harder had you already gotten a job!
I hadn’t thought of that, but you are probably right. Transitioning has been much easier without a job. I have just taken everything at my own pace!*