That unexpected two-week trip home put a wrench in many of our plans. (What’s that saying about God laughing our plans?) Stephen was pulled out of WLC, we were about the pull the trigger on a trip to Belgium, and there’s that whole marathon thing I’ve been training for.
I took my running stuff with me to Texas. It wasn’t so much because I had the intention of keeping up with my training (although I did take a picture of my training plan before we left) as it was a way to relieve stress. I knew it’d be a hard trip and I knew that I’d want to (or more likely – need to) run a little. And a little is about all I did. Two runs each week, 22 miles total. Not really what you’d expect 6 weeks out from a marathon. In fact, race day is now less than a month away.
So where does that leave me? Well, I’m jumping back into training today. I’m supposed to run 20 on Saturday, and as of right now, I’m planning to go for it. If I manage ok, then I figure I can toe the line on race day, although I’m not sure if my lofty PR goals are still realistic. And I’m still not sure that I will race.
Reasons TO run the Konigsforst Marathon
I’m mostly training for it, I think. The 20 miler will give me a better idea if it’s realistic, but I think I could probably do it.
I could always drop to the half if the full seems too lofty; I could definitely run 13.1.
I don’t want to not do it just because of all that happened. Running the marathon would be a way to honor Ben. He could never go 26.2, but I know that if he had been healthy, there would have been no question – he loved running.
I don’t know that there is a really a reason not to.
Reasons NOT to run the Konigsforst Marathon
I’m feeling under-trained (debatable) and my confidence is shaken. I’m fairly certain I can do the distance, but I don’t know if I could do it within the time limit.
If I decide that the full is too much, and I drop to the half, is the race worth all the hassle and money if I’m “only” doing the half? (I don’t think that 13.1 is by any means a small accomplishment, but I’ve already run my share, and this race is going to cost me a pretty penny. If I make the trip, I want it to be worth it.)
If Stephen is able to get into the next WLC class (which is what we are hoping), then he won’t be able to come with me. If he can’t come with, then I’ll be driving 5 hours clear across Germany by myself and running a marathon by myself and driving myself 5 hours home afterwards. I’d also have to board Geronimo, yet again.
My focus is gone. In previous weeks, I was working on becoming a running beast. I’m not sure that my fire and determination are still there. Do I really want to put in the effort necessary for this goal right now? I’m not sure.
—
Where does that leave me? I don’t know. I have thought about this (a lot!) and continue to flip-flop without coming any closer to an actual decision. I know this is one of those things that I have to figure out for myself, so I’m hoping myself gets it together soon.
What do you think? Is there an angle to this that I’m missing? A hidden pro? An unnoticed con? What would you do?
Decide after your 20 miler this weekend, but I honestly think you can handle it!
Thanks for the vote of confidence!
At first I was like RUN IT and then I read about you having to drive 5 hours each way solo and do it all alone. If you were in the states, I’d say go for it. But being in Germany and knowing how confusing things can be and how traveling solo can be risky… I don’t know
Yeah, the travel is a kicker. I was asking myself today, “what if Stephen could come with me?” But I’m no closer to an answer – just more confused than ever. I guess once I know for sure if he can join me or not, that will make things clearer, I hope!
Hang in there. I think that you should run it and see what happens. Maybe there is someone on base who would be up for a road trip with you? You could buy the beer in exchange for the company?
I hadn’t even thought of that. Hmm. I don’t know many people here, but I might just start putting out feelers. Thanks for the idea!
It’s such a hard choice on running or not. Is there anyone in your FRG who you could ask to make the trip with you? That way at least you wouldn’t be alone and would have someone to share a hotel with. I know that I’d have jumped on the chance to travel with another spouse, even if I barely knew her, just to get away from the local area and see somewhere I might not go otherwise. Especially with a month left to plan (I may be biased, I did take a trip to Ireland with roughly eight days notice with someone I knew only slightly) it never hurts to ask.
I think as far as the actual running goes, the question becomes if it is worth it to you to run the marathon for the experience of it or if it will bother you if you don’t meet your goals. If it would end up just being a let down if you don’t run it as fast as you would like, than maybe not running is a good idea. But, if you could go for the experience of running a marathon in Germany and not mind the time, than I think it would be a good thing. A healing thing, if you will. Just my non-runner thoughts.
(((hugs)))
You make going on a road trip with a stranger sound fun. Our FRG is pretty much kaput right now, but there is a wives facebook page; I could always throw it out on there and see if anyone bites. It’s an idea!
I like your perspective that it could be healing to run the marathon. That makes it sound a lot more appealing, actually.
I don’t think you should make any decisions until after your 20 miler. But if I were in your shoes, I’d probably run it, with adjusted goals. Maybe you won’t PR, but you will most likely have a great experience. This may be your only opportunity to run a marathon in Germany, also a big one for the pro column. And perhaps setting aside the PR goal will allow you to enjoy it much more, to take in the whole experience without feeling like you’re slowing down too much. What is the time cut off, and what pace do you need to hit inorder to avoid being swept? I’d figure those things out too. But honestly, I really think you’re a strong enough runner that you’ll be more than fine if you decide to do it.
The cut-off time is 5 hours. My first marathon was about 35 minutes slower than that. My marathon last year was 35 minutes faster than that. I don’t *think* I’d run slower than 5 hours, but I prefer a wider window of time; 5 hours seems really short to me!
I like your idea of going in without the pressure of PRing and instead focusing on just enjoying. For sure something to think about. Thanks!
Since I am Little Miss Try To Do Everything, I think there is probably some self-inflicted pressure/guilt going on here. Don’t you hate it when emotion and logic get all jumbled together?! Hope the answer comes to you soon!
Could be. In certain areas (like running), I have a hard time letting up. It’s hard for me to distinguish between ‘I want to do this’ and ‘I’m doing this because I feel like I should.’ Likewise, I struggle to figure out ‘I don’t want to do this for valid reasons’ and ‘I’m being lazy.’ Ugh, self discovery, so taxing.
Because it’s never black and white! It’ll come to you. And if you run, it’ll be great! (maybe moreso after than during… ha)
I think you can definitely do it! Of course you’ll have a better idea after your 20-mile run but I say just don’t stress about it too much now and just try to enjoy the rest of your training. And remember to give yourself mad props for all the training you’ve already done and all the training you still plan to do!
I love your positivity. I have done a lot of training already, which is part of what is pulling me to just keep going. If I run 20 miles this weekend, then it’s taper time. Might as well, just do it, right?
I think that if you want to do it, you most definitely can do it. I’ve heard of several people running full marathons after only training up to 13 miles (which is obviously not recommended), but given your base conditioning and your experience, I know you would be able to get to the finish line. But being in the same boat myself with the Chicago Marathon, I very much understand where you are coming from. When do you find out about the next WLC class? I think that would be a big factor in the decision. But the biggest question is: Is your heart in it?
WLC really is the biggest factor right now. We should know soon soon soon. (The next class starts on the 26th, so either he’s in by then or he’s not.)
Ah, what does my heart want. Still trying to sort it out. But I think you are right that it is the biggest piece of the puzzle. Really all the “cons” are things that are surmountable; it’s just an issue of “do I really want it?”
I honestly have no idea what to tell you to do. I think the 20 miler will probably give you your answer, but the drive makes me nervous for you on race day. I guess it really depends on how you feel about the idea of not doing the race.
My plan was to drive the day before and spend the night in a hotel, but drive home the day of after the race. The only downside there is that the full doesn’t start until noon. (Weird, right?) So, I wouldn’t be on the road home until 5pm or later. That means it’ll be almost completely in the dark. I’m not a big fan of driving on the autobahn at night because there are no street lights. (Also weird.)
Tough call. I think the 20-miler will give you your answer. Hopefully it’s a good one
Time will tell!
If I was advising pre-deployment Amy I would say wait for the 20 miler and see how it goes. Since you are post-deployment Amy, I want to remind you that you can do anything you set your mind to. You have wanted to do a European Marathon since you found out your were heading over there, and I would hate for you to miss out because you think you can’t do it. You may not PR, but you will be able to finish, and isn’t that what its all about?
Yes, I have been dying to complete a European Marathon. And in none of my Euro running dreams did I really care about my time. So why should I care now?
I think you should do it. This is the only full in Germany that you will have done, right? I know it’s not always good to do races for the sole intent of checking them off a list. but then again I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with doing so either.
Yep, if I do it, this will be my one and only German race. And it’d be a biggun. I really wouldn’t mind doing it just do say that I did it. (Of course, I say that assuming that it wouldn’t be a miserable experience.)
Hmm. So long as the travel part isn’t a problem and you can get there and back without too much of a hassle (driving home 5 hours post marathon may hurt a bit) I say go for it. This is your only chance for a European Marathon before you move and I would hate for you to be disappointed. If your 20 miler goes well and gives you a boost of confidence, definitely consider it. I hope that Stephen can go with you….although that would mean he wasn’t at WLC, which is important. Could he get in a class at Ft. Bliss, instead? Or is time of the essence for promotion purposes? I hate having to make decisions, so I definitely feel your pain.
Thankfully, his completion of WLC won’t hurt him career-wise right now. (They are instituting a rule that you have to complete it within 90 days of becoming an NCO, but that isn’t in effect yet.) He just really wants to go here in Germany since it’s a great program. And I’m not sure what his prospects would be once we move. Alas, all that is out of our hands. I’m hoping that he gets to do it since it’s important in the grand scheme of things. But but but right now I’m thinking that if he doesn’t get in, and he can go with me, and my 20 miler doesn’t kill me, then I’d probably run the race.
Ah, the Army will decide your fate. The Army likes doing such things. Blah.
I wish I were already in Germany, because I’d volunteer to make the trip with you. As far as big races go, I think you have to follow your heart. I ran my first full in January as the grand finale of my “Running Through Deployment” project. I was hit really hard with the flu four weeks before the race, and my doctor said he didn’t think I’d be able to handle do the race. I traded two weeks of training runs for rest, and I kept my sights set on the marathon. I was slower than I’d hoped by a good bit, but I finished. In my heart, finishing with my husband there was the goal, and I knew it was worth the travel and the slower finish time to reach that goal. If it’s not your first marathon (sounds like this is your third?) and if you don’t have any particular emotional tie to this race, maybe you could pick another race that’s still 8-12 weeks away and build your high mileages back up? Whatever you decide, I hope you find peace in what’s right for you. Good luck on your 20-miler this weekend, and I’ll be curious to see what you decide.
Oh, and P.S., Having just discovered my own pre- and post-deployment self (and runner self), I agree with your Mom.